The Power and Purpose of Negative Emotion
Turn a Breakdown into a Breakthrough!
A few weeks ago I was with a dear friend and she was going througha difficult time in her life. She introduced me to one of her business colleagues
who told us both the coolest thing. He said, “Behind every
breakdown is a breakthrough, the bigger the breakdown, the bigger
the breakthrough.”
I loved this idea, but it really got me thinking…what happens
when the breakdown feels huge and you have no idea when or if the
breakthrough is coming?
It's pretty tough to embrace the breakdown when you are feeling
desperate and you have no idea how to work through it or even how
to begin to deal with the current situation you might be in.
Since turning breakdowns into breakthroughs is what I do best, I
wanted to share with you a simple technique designed to get healing
started when you find yourself in the middle of a breakdown.
The first step is to accept where you are and how you are feeling
amidst the breakdown without judgment. Emotions are meant to be
moved through not stuffed and ignored.
An easy way to start acknowledging and moving through the
emotions is to place your fist on the center of your chest and
rub in clockwise circles while making the following kinds of
statements. (This activates the heart center)
"Even though I'm in the middle of a breakdown and I'm feeling
overwhelmed and I don't know if there's a way out, if there is, I
can't see it right now, I appreciate me for dealing with this the
best way that I know how.”
“Even though there have been times lately when I've wondered if
I will even survive this breakdown and I question whether or not
I have the strength to wait for the breakthrough, I accept where
I am and how I'm feeling with kindness and compassion. This has
been hard and I'm doing the best I know how.”
“Even though I'm really struggling and things are feeling grim,
I'm open to a new way of looking at my life and I'm hopeful there
will be a breakthrough soon.”
“Even though I can't see the breakthrough yet, I appreciate me
for being open to one and I'm hopeful some new ideas will open up
soon.”
“Even though this breakdown feels heavy, intense, and
overwhelming, I'm open to feeling the Spiritual Support that is
around me right now. I'm open to knowing that I'm not alone, and
I'm hopeful that some new insights are on their way.”
“I’m open to seeing this whole situation in a new light. I
know that I’m gaining wisdom and compassion right now as a
result of moving through and handling this situation.”
“I’m choosing to see myself and everyone involved surrounded
by healing light and comfort. I am choosing to know that a
solution is on the way. I’m open to this whole problem working
out in the best way possible for all involved. I am choosing to
feel calm and peaceful right now even though I don't have all the
answers yet.”
The Hidden Message of Guilt
Guilt is a really difficult emotion to deal with and all of us parents experience it at some point. I just taught a workshop called "How to Heal, Using the Hidden Messages in Negative Emotion." Guilt actually has a message and a call to action for change in our lives.
The root cause of the feeling of guilt is when we believe that we've been unfair to someone and now we're fearing the consequences. "Fearing the consequences" can be things like being afraid of missing stuff or being afraid that we've hurt or offended someone, or being afraid that we made the wrong choice."
So a good question to ask is "The part of me that's feeling guilty right now, what does that part of me need?" For me I found that the part of me that was feeling guilty needed my kids to know that I love them and care about them. Once I discovered that, the message and call to action the guilt had for me was to find some simple ways that I could make sure my kids new that I loved and cared about them. Once I did that, the feeling of guilt disappeared because I got the message it had for me.
Each negative emotion has a message the key is learning how to understand the language.
The root cause of the feeling of guilt is when we believe that we've been unfair to someone and now we're fearing the consequences. "Fearing the consequences" can be things like being afraid of missing stuff or being afraid that we've hurt or offended someone, or being afraid that we made the wrong choice."
So a good question to ask is "The part of me that's feeling guilty right now, what does that part of me need?" For me I found that the part of me that was feeling guilty needed my kids to know that I love them and care about them. Once I discovered that, the message and call to action the guilt had for me was to find some simple ways that I could make sure my kids new that I loved and cared about them. Once I did that, the feeling of guilt disappeared because I got the message it had for me.
Each negative emotion has a message the key is learning how to understand the language.