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"A moment of patience in a moment of anger prevents a thousand moments of regret."

Today we make room for joy by working to heal ourselves, to find compassion even when we're feeling anger or a thousand thoughts of regret.

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What's wonderful about handling difficult moments this way is you not only rapidly recover your sanity, you also heal on a deep level. You get to the root of things in such a way you become stronger, much less trigger-able, and better able to handle things the next time a similar situation arises.

This simple process has literally saved me from myself! I have always been a hot head and keeping my cool was never my specialty. I would often walk away from difficult situations feeling embarrassed and mortified at myself. I would hash it out for weeks and feel completely humiliated!

These days, it's rare for me to lose it. Thankfully, I've worked through enough things to have finally achieved level headed-ness or at least the ability to step back and remain neutral. LOL! But if I do happen to encounter an uncomfortable moment, I use the following recovery plan to smooth things over in my mind and release the situation so I don't have to torture over it!

Here's the 4 step plan that helps to resolve any situation that's currently weighing on your mind:

Step 1: Address your own pain!

Your body, mind, and spirit can heal much quicker if you take the time to acknowledge and process things. It's really pretty easy to do and super worth it!

To get started just think back to the conflict. When you did or didn't do the thing you're now wishing you would or wouldn't have done, ask yourself the following question.

"In the moment I did that thing, what was I feeling and needing?"

If you're not sure, here's an example of how I used this question to clean up one of my own life's messes.

A few months ago, I had a pretty rough blow up with one of my teenage sons. We got into a yelling argument and out of frustration he grabbed one of my healing magnets (which is quite heavy... :( ) and threw it at the wall. This was not my finest parenting moment. :/

As soon as I could get things calmed down, I thought about the blow up and asked myself what I was feeling and needing the moment I started yelling. Here's what I came up with:

The moment I lost my cool and started yelling... I was feeling scared, overwhelmed, and powerless! I was feeling desperate and in need of a safe environment for my son.

Once I was able to pinpoint that, I felt instant compassion for myself which helped me to let go of all the thoughts that were currently going on about me being a terrible mother.

So back to you:

Once you determine this pain (what you were feeling and needing at the time of the encounter), hear it and give yourself compassion using the technique illustrated below.

***Acknowledging the pain and giving compassion allows the emotion to dissipate and release. Negative emotions occur to let us know that we have an unmet need. They are there to call us to action to get the need met. When we listen and offer compassion, the emotion has done it's job and can then dissolve and release.

Notice how much calmer you feel just by doing this first step!!!
**This first step can sometimes require deep meditation. It may take a while but it's well worth it!

Step 2:

Now it's time to address the part of you that may still be hashing and re-hashing or feeling upset by things.

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In order to address the part of you that's now evaluating things... we ask the same question:

"The part of you that keeps thinking about the situation, that's maybe feeling uncomfortable about your reactions, what is that part of you feeling and needing?

Example: In the instance with my son, afterward, I was feeling discouraged, sad, disappointed. I really needed to have responded in a compassionate and understanding way and it hurts my heart as a mother that I didn't.

It's funny doing this exercise, often times you'll realize that the parts of you that "reacted badly" and the part of you that is now worrying about it often want the same things. In my example, both parts of me really just needed my son to be in a safe place and to feel loved.

So... after you've heard the part of you that's unhappy with the way things went and may be second guessing or regretting things, give yourself compassion and empathy just as you did in step 1: ginnys iphone tapping pics 3 17 041

Place your palm on the center of your chest while tapping the back of your hand between the ring finger and pinky just like you did in step 1.

Keep tapping while repeating the following statements:

"Even though I am feeling uncomfortable about the way this situation went, I really needed ___, I give myself compassion and empathy. I handled things the best way I knew how at the time. I am willing to forgive myself and trust that next time I will feel differently."

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Step 3:

Think of the other person involved...

In the moment things got out of hand and they said or did what they did.... what can you guess they might have been feeling or needing? AdobeStock 52986656

Doing this exercise helps you to unplug, to step back and look at things differently.
It is how you can get distance and take yourself out of it so it no longer feels so personal. When we take it personal, we lose power and stay sucked into the mess.
(which means we'll most likely repeat it at some point..)

This allows the situation to keep draining a messing with us.

When you can break it down and see that whatever people do or don't do is about them and their own pain, it allows you to stay strong, compassionate, and power-ful. You can find a way to stay centered and calm no matter what storms are blowing around you.

AdobeStock 87976830 Step 4: Unplug!!! My favorite! :)

Visualize yourself and the whole situation.
Imagine literally unplugging your energy from the whole thing. Just like unplugging a power cord.

Say the following affirmation. (It's Louise Hay's. I love it, it just works!)
"Out of this whole situation, only good will come. Everything is being resolved and healed for the Highest good of all involved."

Take a deep breath and let it all go.

I know this seems time consuming but you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. How much better you sleep after working a situation through this way.
Your mind automatically just relaxes and moves on. It's the best feeling!

Stressful confrontations are the kinds of things that block joy, peace and love from our lives all the time! So why hold on to it? You deserve calm and peace, clear focus for your life and those you love not hashing some conflict over and over right?

Here's to more peace, happiness and good sleep! Hugs. :)

P.S. Sometimes we can be tied super tight to a painful situation. Especially when it concerns family such as divorce or other pressing conflicts. These kinds of situations can be difficult to navigate and clear on your own because they contain so many old and hidden issues.

If you're struggling to heal and recover from something like this, please consider scheduling some healing sessions for yourself! They make all the difference I promise!!!

Below is a little more information that I hope you will find helpful. Hugs!

How to know if a private session would be beneficial right now:

Emotional Clearing sessions with me are about releasing the old stuff, the mounting stress that's weighing you down.
It's about resolving the issues around situations and challenges so you can see through the fog and overwhelm and find your way through it.

Energy therapy is similar to traditional counseling except it incorporates physical components to help relieve the tension and ache in the body.
When you're feeling tense and agitated, upset and overwhelmed with someone or something... you feel that tension and discomfort in your body.

These techniques help address the emotional stuff by working to release it physically, emotionally and mentally. It's a huge relief. Like taking off a heavy coat.
Once you do that, the situations that normally cause stress and upset no longer bother you. You can handle them with ease and move forward.