Re-claiming your Life When you've Been Overcome by Grief
Lately I've been thinking a lot about a few of my close friends. Two of them have suffered the loss of their child, one of them their sibling, and the two others.. their spouse. (All in the last 4 years) The process of grief is always excruciatingly difficult but it can be extra sharp during the Holiday Season.
There are no adequate words when it comes to this kind of profound sadness and there are really no shortcuts. Grief is simply an intense emotion, an experience that we just have to move through the best way we can.
Yet, the simple act of just acknowledging this one truth (We have to move through it) can be healing and empowering. Why? Because it grants a person permission to feel what they feel, to have bad days, and to allow themselves to take as long as they need.
This willingness to allow the process is important because emotion cannot even begin to heal until it is acknowledged and moved through. When you give yourself the space to do whatever you need to do, you allow the energy to move. If you stuff the emotion and try to avoid it at all costs, it can end up crushing you with experiences like depression, anxiety, and even severe health problems. The CDC cites stress as being the #1 cause of disease and illness; THIS is what stress is made of mostly. It's the stuck emotional stuff that's killing us!
A friend of mine just recently lost her dad. She confided in me that she hadn't been able to cope or even function for several months until finally one day she just lost it. She canceled all her plans for the afternoon and just let herself cry like a madwoman. (Her words, not mine. ;)) She said she cried for hours but it was worth it because the most amazing thing happened afterward... The next day she felt remarkably lighter and able to focus. She said she could finally cope and re-engage with her life, not to mention relax and get some much needed sleep without being up all hours of the night. Isn't that cool? She didn't do anything complicated or planned. She just took a break from her life and allowed some of the emotion to move through her.
I know this can seem scary. Most of us are afraid of the pain because it can feel like it will overtake us and maybe never end... Yet... when you can see emotions for what they are, "Energy that's needing to process and move" it takes some of the fear, judgment, need to control-ness or fix... out of it. This is perfect, because in a lot of situations such as death, divorce, or even bankruptcy... it really can't be "fixed," it just has to be experienced and mourned.
All that being said, I realize the fear of going there, of actually feeling anything can still be terrifying. Most people have wrapped themselves in a blanket of numbness as their way of coping. This can be okay for a while but what if it also keeps your heart closed and unavailable for all the good stuff?
I want to share with you an energy clearing exercise. It's designed to address and relieve any fear or anxiety you might have around feeling your emotions. (This is so worth it! It opens your heart and allows you to start healing, which means much less numbness/irritability and more good stuff.)
I promise this exercise won't force you to all the sudden start feeling everything all at once. Just think of your emotions as a locked door and this clearing is granting you the key. Since you are the key holder you are in control and can open the door on your own terms whenever you feel ready.
(Private energy clearing sessions are a wonderful way to make sure you have support and guidance as you go through the healing process. This makes it simple, comfortable, and so do-able. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when you can live free of all the baggage. "Sometimes you can't know the weight of something until you feel its release." Click here to find out more about free consultations.)
If you want to learn more about Meridian Tapping (the clearing process below), click here to download a free picture guide with accompanying instructions.
Meridian Tapping is just like emotional acupuncture but without the needles. Click here to learn more about why it works.
***To do this clearing, just refer to the picture below and tap the points while making the statements listed next to each one. (Don't tap too hard, but don't lightly tap either, tap firmly enough to stimulate the energy and move it along but not hard enough to be uncomfortable... and you can tap either side of the body, it doesn't matter.)
Meridian Tapping Clearing Exercise
Side of hand: Even though I have no desire to feel my emotions so I feel numb most of the time, I love and accept myself I've always coped the best way I know how.
Even though I'm scared to feel my emotions, I'm afraid that if I open this door, I'll never be able to get it shut again, I love and forgive myself, feeling emotions has not been the goal, survival has been.
Even though I'm scared of feeling this grief, I've worked really hard to box it all up and I'm not that excited to get that box out, I love and accept myself, I'm doing the best I know how.
Inside of eyebrow: I'm so afraid of going there.
Side of eye: I realize that stuffing my emotions has not made them disappear. In fact, I'm exhausted trying to keep them contained and hidden all the time. It's like trying to hold a beach ball under water 24/7 and I'm exhausted.
Under the eye: I want to be free of this heaviness and stress but I'm afraid it will be too much.
Under the nose: What if it's more than I can handle? I could barely handle myself when the original events happened, how am I supposed to handle it now?
Chin: What if it didn't have to be so scary? What if I could just see it as old energy that needs to move through me?
Collarbone: What if I knew that every time I chose to allow the emotions to move, I would feel lighter and more free as a result? What if I actually felt energized and alive again?
Under the arm: What if all these buried emotions are causing me to miss my life by being numb? What if I could actually feel something instead of this constant numbness and agitation?
Top of the head: Emotions can be intense but they don't usually last very long if a person allows them. What if this tapping and other tools could help me keep them contained so I could release them at my own pace and on my own terms? Maybe I don't have to be bombarded with it all at once?
Inside of eyebrow: This tapping is already helping me to feel calmer and more open.
Side of eye: What if I knew that it didn't have to be difficult?
Under the eye: What if I could let go of this choking fear?
Under the nose: What would my life look like if I was no longer afraid of my feelings and the memories attached to them?
Chin: What if I could keep the memories and release the emotional charge and heaviness that's connected to them.
Collarbone: I'm open to entertaining the idea of feeling my emotions.
Under the arm: I'm open to releasing the fear. They're just energy that needs to move through me so they can dissolve.
Top of the head: I'm open to knowing that as I release this energy, I reclaim my life. I'm open to moving through it on my own terms and as I feel safe. I may not be ready to open the door yet, but I can entertain the idea and I am choosing to remember that I don't have to do it alone. There is lots of help available to make it an easy process. I am safe.
Take a few deep breaths and just allow yourself to be present and in the moment.
**If you notice a lot of memories or emotions starting to surface, just do some more deep breathing and keep tapping through the points. You don't even have to say anything, just tap the points and allow it all to release.
**If you notice a lot of different things coming up, please consider scheduling some healing sessions so you can clear it out and be done with it once and for all. Releasing this stuff is a major game changer and will make a profound difference in your life. You'll feel less agitated and more available for your life and those you love, not to mention re-energized and lighter.
If you liked this article and this kind of information, please come join my private group on Facebook. I have created this group to be a secure setting where we can talk about emotional healing and great ways to work with it. If you're interested, click here to join!
Here's to you, feeling great again! :) Thanks for reading. Please share.